Celebrating female orgasms can happen anytime, anywhere. Including on Sports Talk Radio! Women’s sexual pleasure, feminist porn, and having my boyfriend move in with me. Listen in to tonight’s segment of The Final Verdict on Mile High Sports Radio. A surprising but delightful place to announce the opening of the 2nd Chakra Circle!
A few months ago I drove six hours for a breakfast. Yes, you read that correctly. I love me a good road trip, but even for me this was out of the ordinary. Then again, my breakfast date was with the very extraordinary Javier Regueiro. I met Javier in Peru two years ago. The month […]
GRATITUDE FOR 2 0 1 7 Happy 2018! I’m finally feeling ready for the excitement of a New Year. I found myself more anxious about 2018 than I had imagined. I then realized I hadn’t yet taken a moment to properly give gratitude for 2017. It was a year of lots of turmoil and pain. It’s totally fair to think […]
It’s time to answer, What DO WE WANT FOR OUR OPTIMAL SEXUAL HEALTH? Do we want pleasure, intimacy with ourselves and others, delight, orgasms, safety, wonder?
I hope you agree with me that we do. Listen in for why a north star of pleasure is needed for the healing we crave.
For me, when Betsy DeVos denied the prevalence of rape on our college campuses I lost my shit. Some very wise soul-sisters lovingly interrupted my pain by asking , “How can we support you? What do you need to hear?”
For me, when Betsy DeVos denied the prevalence of rape on our college campuses I lost my shit. Some very wise soul-sisters lovingly interrupted my pain by asking , “How can we support you? What do you need to hear?”
For me, when Betsy DeVos denied the prevalence of rape on our college campuses I lost my shit. Some very wise soul-sisters lovingly interrupted my pain by asking , “How can we support you? What do you need to hear?”
After a lot of frustration and many laughs particular to the chuckles that sing self awareness, I learned to trust vulnerability. I even allowed my voice to say the word with potency. VULNERABILITY!
Much to my tremendous surprise, I’ve not only let go of my assumption that vulnerability was inextricably linked to weakness and un-safety. I’ve actually come to feel that truth *vulnerability is my superpower!*
Lovely one, I can usually talk about the importance of women’s sexual pleasure and get nods and high-fives all day long. But almost as soon as I say orgasm, there is some form of resistance. I hear, “You know it’s not *all about* orgasm!” (Note: I have never, nor would I ever say that sex or sexuality is *all about* […]
Everything we’ve talked about during the pledge ~ mis-matched libidos, sex magic, cycle syncing ~ it’s all tremendously important for deepening into your truest and most alive self. Yet, today is everything. Three years ago, almost to the day and almost in the exact spot that I now sit in Costa Rica, I first saw […]
Using your cycle FOR your pleasure? AHO! This is BIG. This particular topic is one that I am super motivated to get out into the hands of every woman, every young woman, and every man who is in relationship – sexual or otherwise – with women… Did I leave anyone out?;)I hope not, because this […]
Life is full of joy but equally, pain and sorrow. Coming to acceptance with that dance and range has been at the crux of my journey. I’ve named this The Pleasure Paradox. And I am always blown away by women’s capacity to feel and hold their range. And feel it all but even in the […]
Manifesting money, desires, and happiness through pleasure, sex, and orgasm? Um, YES PLEASE! You’re going to love today’s video! My dear friend Amanda Testa shares her wisdom around how to use sex and climax to call in what you most desire in life. Sound too woo?! Here to tell you that I have personally experienced […]
Truth: I’m starting to get that sad feeling when I realize that the pledge is coming to end. I don’t want it to end! It’s such a treat and gift to connect with you during it! But then again, it doesn’t ever need to “end.” A second truth, one that massively perks me up again!:) […]
When’s the last time you talked about time? Was it kind and loving? Really?!;) I used to be the Queen of hating time. There was never enough time. Time was always rushing me. Time was “SO UNFAIR!” With that way of speaking to time, no freakin wonder time wasn’t on my side… I was such […]
Wahoo! We’re already on day 17, yet we have so many additional goodies for the remainder of the Pleasure Pledge! Lelo vibrators, crystal wands, Venus mats… Get on over into the Private Facebook Group so that you can WIN!!!! Tell me, what are you looking forward to this weekend? Is the weekend itinerary full of […]
Orgasm as Your Life Force The theme of the Pleasure Pledge is an exploration of “What Does Your Orgasm Mean to You.” The answers are STUNNING. In today’s Pleasure Pledge Video, Anita Kopacz sums up what so many of us also feel. She states “My Orgasm is my Life Force.” I first connected with Anita […]
Are you adequately wooing yourself? Be honest. Would you be super psyched if your romantic partner talked to you and treated you the way you talk to and treat yourself? (If you are a big YES to this then you are clearly levitating off your magical carpet ride and I want to hear all about […]
Congrats babe – you’re half way through the Pleasure Pledge! Tell me, how is it going? Are you able to keep an intention and commitment to pleasure throughout your day? Is it feeling like one more thing or like a super special treat? Please do share and get loved up in support here! Today is […]
Juicy conversation for you this Valentine’s Day Saturday! Please meet my dear, wonderful, funny, and courageous friend – Rachel Sizemore. She is a total gem – you’re in for such a TREAT! Learn how taking the Pleasure Pledge changed Rachel’s connection to her yoni, deepened her sex life with her husband, and even altered her […]
Our most primal biological desires: food, sex, sleep. And we deprive ourselves and judge ourselves about all of them! In this interview with the glorious Isabel Foxen Duke, she shares how to let go of the shame spiral that so many of us get stuck in around all things pleasurable. Super excited to share it […]
LISA FABREGA! “Power” can be a confusing word and concept. We see power abused – so freakin often. And yet we intuitively know that being in “our power” is the only way to living an authentic and truthful life. How do we come to alignment here? Enter Lisa Fabraga: When it comes to doing your […]
You know those moments when you think, “HOW? How did I NOT already know this? HOW?” This is me, every time I read her work and speak with Dr. Marianne Brandon. She breaks down human biologically – differences between how women and men crave and desire sex – in ways that are accessible as they […]
Yoni Breathing?! I LOVE so much about leading O’actually. Supporting women’s journey to awaken through pleasure. Releasing taboo around female bodies and women’s desires. Having a delightfully surprising answer to often mundane cocktail party question of, “So, what do you do for a living?” As an inherently curious human, I also feel tremendously grateful for […]
Hey Lovebug! I’m super excited to share with you a Pleasure Pledge Video Interview Series with my soul-sister and truth teller Katie DePaola. Katie is a force. In truth, she scared the sh-t out me when I first met her. You see, Katie is instantly open and welcoming. And yet, she is also wonderfully inquisitive […]
Hey Lover! Goodness do I have a treat for you! Today kicks off the Pleasure Pledge Interview Series – exploring orgasms with world class thought leaders, coaches, and sexperts! I’m thrilled to share my discussion with the creative, wise, and delightful Ariel White. Ariel is the Founder of Amant, a digital media company for Lovers. […]
Hi love, Do you have a word yet for 2017? One word to succinctly summarize a way to ground, guide, and operate throughout your New Year? I desire a year of implementation and impact. Upon hearing my vision for 2017, a soul-sister reflected back to me that for the New Year my word is “unapologetic.” […]
A mentor of mine asks me, “Kit love, what’s true?” Then she asks it again. And again. It’s super annoying actually. But it’s also undeniably helpful. So, today I share with you what is authentically true for me and I ask you love, what’s true? For me, what is true is that today is is […]
In my line of work, I’m constantly sitting with the question: What can we do to cultivate a sense of safety for women when exploring their bodies & their sexuality? Especially with the recent uprise of #PussyGrabsBack and similar uproars in other parts of the world around issues of women’s health & the reclamation of […]
Hi babe, Remember a few months ago when I talked about initiations? Basically, I have come to understand that once we declare an intention – anything from unconditional body love to organizing finances – there is an initiation activated. It asks, just how serious are you with that? For example, my friend who declared she […]
Hiya friend, My voice was quiet last week. Yet, my mind was racing. What. Is. Happening? It almost felt like there was too much to say. I wondered why I couldn’t figure out an access point to the conversation. After all, the sovereignty of women’s bodies is at the core of what drives me in […]
Alexis Saloutos provides an introduction and exploration of the chakra energy system and deeper awareness around the connection between your sacral chakra (housing sexual and creative enegery) and your throat chakra (home to self expression, courage, and truth). This episode truly blew me away. Alexis walks us through the mirrored connection of the Sacral/ 2nd […]
Are your finances limiting your sex-life and vice versa? Are you living in a story that you should already know all you need to know about sex? Have you bought into the belief of a “sex-script” that is actually limiting your experience of pleasure? This week on the podcast, I speak with renowned author and […]
On the podcast this week, I talk with the luminous and wise Ariel White. It’s a rich conversation. We cover the inner work and outer practices needed to discover a world of exquisite men; living life at the edge of the mystery; and how compassion is the access point to liberation. Ariel also introduces me […]
Hi love, I hope you have enjoyed your summer and are making the most of the final days of the season. In so many ways, I want to tell you that I intentionally took the summer off. That I bounced from beach holidays to listening friends play on banjos and guitars in little mountain towns; […]
Recently many of you shared and asked for my thoughts regarding the recent Stanford assault and the courageous and beautifully articulated letter from the victim. It is a must read: http://bzfd.it/1ZsOqe2 I could spend decades writing on this, so I thought I would share how I would respond if you asked me about it over […]
Hiya! Happy June to you! I hope your summer season is already off to a wonderful start. I myself am just wrapping up my birthday week - it was a whirlwind of joy and love! Time at the spa; a celebratory evening on the deck; so many flowers, candles, and messages of love!* (*My friends [...]
Hey babe, I need to out myself. Sometimes in standing for women’s sexual pleasure, I forget or purposefully shut down my range. Rather than feeling and honoring my frustration, anger, and pain, I judge it. I tell myself I “shouldn’t” feel this “negative” emotion because I am about pleasure. I did this as recently as […]
Hi love, This is quite the juicy blogpost! I love hearing the questions that come in through the O'actually community. I am always listening and trying to figure out how best to address your questions and concerns! Recently, I've picked up on quite a bit of confusion, judgment, and shame around the often controversial subject [...]
Today a woman came to me after realizing that she was caught in a trap of thinking she was selfish for putting herself and her pleasure first. So she asked me how she could re-frame prioritizing her orgasms and sexual pleasure. Here is my answer: Many of us feel this very same stigma around fulfilling […]
Hi You! I spent my weekend pondering libido, passion, and monogamy. You see on Friday afternoon I had the opportunity to speak with a group of women who are working with my dear friend and health coach, Stephanie Burg. These women are all taking the courageous step to deepen into true love of their bodies [...]
Hi there lovely, We started off this week talking with Nadia Munla about the importance of exploring and honoring your sensual range. Today I want to talk about a different range – the range of sexual experiences and how they are all interconnected in a beautiful, messy, and sometimes devastating web. As you may know, I spent years […]
I have treat for you! This week I had the great opportunity to a record a conversation with Betty Dodson! If you don’t know Betty, she’s a force! Since the early 1970’s, she’s been a champion for women embracing and owning their sexual pleasure. As she approaches her 90s, Betty and her business partner Carlin […]
Yesterday I shared that I’ve let go of my Pleasure Crutch of wine. What I didn’t share is that I have taken being tea-total to a bit of an extreme: I’m tea obsessed… I have a kettle that has certain buttons for different types of tea so that the leaves steep in just the right […]
Hi love, The full glorious moon is hanging high up there in the sky. It’s presence is saying, “RELEASE.” Sending her light down on us – literally – she invites us to name that which is no longer serving us and asks us to let go, darling. Let go. In anticipation of this Full Moon, […]
I have a special treat for you this evening: a jam with the wonderful Nadia Munla. Nadia is a health and sensuality coach. She is also a queen of playlists that foster a true exploration of our emotional range. She’s also my personal guru for getting me out of my freakin head and into my […]
Over the weekend, The New York Times published a must read Op-Ed titled When Did Porn Become Sex Ed? It chronicles what we at O’actually have been saying for years: abstinence only + the onslaught of Internet porn and the early ages at which kids first encounter it (about 8 yrs old for boys and 11 […]
Happy first day of spring love! I hope you found some sunshine today and were able to revel in Sunday goodness. This week we’re going to be talking about what’s behind our slogan: Love What Feels Good. Too often we set up our goals in life by what we want to have or what we want […]
Hey babe! Let’s talk about {anal} sex, shall we?! Putting aside the taboo and the baffling messages we might have received about anal from society and/or mainstream porn, I wanted to know more about anal sex for women and the anal female orgasm. So I reached out to the straight talking, pleasure championing, delightful fountain […]
My message today is all about embracing being loose…. particularly with {genuine} compliments. There is a lot of behavioral studies research out there these days that point to compliments and appreciation being about a thousand times more effective than nagging and punishment. It all rings true for me. Thank me and offer your genuine appreciation […]
Hiya! Historically, this is an important week for O’actually and me. Precisely four years ago today I resigned from my stable job to start what is now O’actually (at the time, it didn’t even have a name!) Below is the story, lessons learned, and how they relate to your orgasmic pleasure. A little less than […]
The odd truth is, receiving pleasure can actually be rather difficult. After all, if prioritizing pleasure was easy peasy then we wouldn’t have to remind ourselves of its importance over and over again. So it’s truth time. Do you REALLY prioritize your pleasure? Is it a matter of time? Forgetfullness? Other people impacting your schedule? […]
So, How’s your sex life? Seems blunt, even from me? Maybe it is. But it is THE question, right? And yet, when’s the last time you asked it or answered it? (One-word answers don’t count.) It’s a powerful and important question in friendship When I was deeply struggling in a long-term relationship that I just […]
Hey babe, Take these two super simple steps TODAY and enjoy a more ORGASMIC life tomorrow: • Remove ALL your technology from the bedroom. Do so right now. And take the chargers with you! (Non negotiables include all phones, tablets and laptops. I can be slightly more flexible when it comes to TV’s because often […]
Hey love! I am a big believer that pleasure begets pleasure. It’s one of the seven reasons I encourage you to adopt an orgasm into your morning routine. Filling up your pleasure tank* invites more and more space for you and others to continue adding more and more pleasure to it. For instance, I am […]
What is this Pleasure21 thing all about? At the root of Pleasure21, is prioritizing your time and energy for DAILY orgasms (wahoo!). It’s three short weeks to deepen into the experience of putting yourself, your body, your pleasure, and your orgasms FIRST. Every day. (We run this program throughout the year, so sign up to […]
Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt embarrassed, squeamish, or just plain puzzled by lube. There’s a good reason many of us have some apprehension about lubrication. Though it’s totally popular to say “Lube is great and you should use it!” there’s no user-manual involved, no norms established, and certainly lube is never featured in […]
How To Participate In The Lipstick Selfie Challenge… Confirm within yourself that you believe in the importance of empowering women by helping them to embrace their sexual pleasure. Why? Because the O’actually team wants to empower women to embrace their pleasure. ANY kind of pleasure – be it a massage, a girls night out, a hot romp […]
Being on Team O’a has lots of perks (including learning about the latest developments in female pleasure) but one of the best is the all-access pass to having a conversation with your lady friends about sex. Working here sometimes feels like a slumber-party after the witching hour, when filters have fallen away and we feel […]
* Jena la Flamme, Author of Pleasurable Weight Loss: The Secrets to Feeling Great, Losing Weight, and Loving Your Life Today LISTEN ON ITUNES LISTEN ON STITCHER Jena la Flamme is a true beauty of the inside and out variety. I first connected with her in person through a belly dance class in Bali! […]
Sex is good for about a thousand and one reasons. But in celebrating all the tingles, breathy voices, and electrified skin touches, we can often lose sight of one fascinating thought: not all sex is created equal. And so, we were blown away by Rebecca Traister’s “Consensual Sex Can Still Be Bad” in October’s New […]
* Anita Kopacz, Editor-in-Chief of Heart and Soul Magazine, and the author of ‘Finding Your Way’ LISTEN ON ITUNES LISTEN ON STITCHER * Oooooh! I just adore Anita Kopacz, Editor-in-Chief of Heart and Soul Magazine, the author of the beautiful book Finding Your Way and the author of her monthly newsletter, Not Your Mama’s […]
Call it what you will – hook-up culture, the FWB fad, or sexual liberation – but regardless, sex before marriage has perched on the media’s mind for better part of the 21st century. The topic often took flight in the form of lengthy criticism from a “grown-up” perspective, glib rebuttals from the “young adult” […]
A Doctor’s Perspective * Dr. Derek Polonsky, Harvard Psychiatrist And Author Of The Book, “Talk About Sex” LISTEN ON ITUNES LISTEN ON STITCHER * Today we’re diving into the Oft-Taboo Topics of: Masturbation (for women/men/girls/boys) Sexless Marriages Teaching Teens About Sexual Pleasure (Not Just Sexual Function) Psychiatrist, Dr. Derek Polonsky, has been in […]
Ferris Bueller’s shower wisdom wasn’t wrong: Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop to look around once in awhile, you could miss it. And if we at O’a HQ learned anything from Ferris, it’s this: sometimes, you have to take care of you. It sounds so simple, right? But self-care can be really hard […]
* Getting The TRUTH About Addyi From Two Leading Experts: Dr. Marianne Brandon & Dr. Alan Altman LISTEN ON ITUNES LISTEN ON STITCHER * Have you heard about Addyi? Are you already super confused about this new drug that is intended to help women with low sexual desire? I was too… I wanted THE TRUTH. So […]
Years ago, a lovely lady on Team O’a found a ripple of bumps tightly knit across her labia in no discernable pattern. A few hours later, an OB-GYN cavalierly told her, “Oh, that’s just herpes.” As she began to cry from shock, he followed up with, “Don’t worry. Everyone has it.” “Does shaving aggravate […]
As a reminder, this week, our blog goddess, our writer extraordinaire, our gorgeous boudoir subject, and just all around amazing Alicia is taking a well deserved vacation, and as such – so is our blog. So we are taking this opportunity to showcase two recent articles by our very own Kit Murray Maloney elsewhere on the […]
* TABLES TURNED: Team O’a Interviews ME What It’s REALLY Like To Stand For Women’s SEXUAL Pleasure LISTEN ON ITUNES LISTEN ON STITCHER * Well, here I am – raw, real, and a wide open book for you. My co-founder and team member turn things around and put me on the chopping block. I invited […]
This week, our blog goddess, our writer extraordinaire, our gorgeous boudoir subject, and just all around amazing Alicia is taking a well deserved vacation, and as such – so is our blog. So we are taking this opportunity to showcase two recent articles by our very own Kit Murray Maloney elsewhere on the web. We […]
We will happily admit it: the typical girl-delivers-a-pizza-and-gets-a-big-tip “plot” of traditional adult films doesn’t make our flute of champagne bubble over. (Which is of course, why we decided to produce our own playfully tantalizing, story-driven, real-orgasm-inspired erotic films which you can support right now!) And as it turns out, we aren’t alone. Earlier this year, […]
* Psalm Isadora America’s Favorite Tantric Sex Expert! LISTEN ON ITUNES LISTEN ON STITCHER * Whoa. It was truly an incredible experience to interview Psalm Isadora. She’s the founder of the global sex coaching program Urban Kama Sutra, creator of OYoga, and star of Playboy TV’s reality show Cougar Club. Special note from moi: […]
Supernova-inducing, spine-shivering, dizzy-making sex requires a few key ingredients: mutual consent, a sense of connection between the parties involved, and a personal commitment to your own pleasure. We know that last one is a bit of a sticky-wicket for many women out there – we don’t feel like we have time, or deserve to put […]
Incredible women are not hard to find. Look left and there’s a single-mom single-handedly running her own business that pays the bills and buys her kids rainboots. Look right and there’s an oncological diagnostician bringing both empathy and ferocious science to her patients (and she does applique on the side!). But for every moment we […]
* Rachel Kramer Bussel: Author, editor, and blogger of things EROTICA LISTEN ON ITUNES LISTEN ON STITCHER * When Rachel first moved to NYC she was a law student, but she was also drawn into all of the sexy, fun things happening around her. She bought her first vibrator, attended her first sex […]
From surfing the crimson wave to lady shark week, we have a plethora of perky period-naming conventions. And despite the abundance of cute/snarky menses nomenclature, there’s something huge often missing from the menstruation conversation: period sex. Did you just think gross! You’re not alone. While lots of people are having period sex, and even more […]
There are men in this world who make us laugh until our bellies hurt with their ridiculous yet honest truth telling, then they make us desperate to share the videos they make accompanied by a *high-five* emoji. Some of those men are Key and Peele, whose show we already miss dearly. (Warning: NSFW sound bites […]
* Kit Murray Maloney Interviews Alex Jamieson, Best Selling Author Of Women, Food and Desire What Do You Really Want In Your Sex Life? Alex Jamieson Helps Us Explore the Answer At the beginning of Alex’s book, she poses the question, “What do you want?” – It’s a question she wants you to answer on […]
What I Discovered About Feeling Sexy In today’s post, Team O’a member, Alicia Ostarello, shares her boudoir shoot experience with us all. We are inspired by her bravery, honesty, vulnerability, and beauty!!! Sexy is not a word I describe myself, because sexy is not how I see myself. Yes, my online dating profile begins with […]
* Beating a 10 year prison sentence, Emerging a Sexual Goddess with Leora Edut. Creator of the Nationwide Goddess-On-The-Go Workshop While Leora’s Goddess on the Go Events bring women together to celebrate life, heal, and support one another, Leora’s life wasn’t always as mystical and celebratory as it is today. Leora grew up in tough […]
People in the world think the vulva is too explicit to be discussed. And while we can’t wait for the day that is no longer the case, that is the current status quo. So we were not surprised when reading an article on Salon to discover that a documentary about female sexuality, Science, Sex and […]
* The Science Behind Your Fantasies: Rape, Trans-sexuality and Beyond ******* Dr. Ogi Ogas The Author of A Billion Wicked Thoughts Oh la la… Today is a good one! Want to know what EVERYONE IS ACTUALLY DOING ON THE WEB?! Well, my guest today, Dr. Ogi Ogas literally has the answers. He’s the author […]
Part voyeuristic diary, part owners-manual, sometimes raw, sometimes hawt, always real: How to Make Me Come is a blog in which women anonymously share essays about their trials, tribulations, and triumphs in orgasms. It’s addictive as heck to read (not to mention liberatingly empowering) and should you choose to go there now, we’d dance […]
Writers, thinkers, and anyone with a Twitter account was sparked to talk about body size last week. We don’t feel like giving any more “air time” to a woman seeking fame through bigotry, but we do welcome an invitation to discuss the subject of body acceptance. It’s a topic close to all of us at […]
* With Krista Kujat The Creator of Permission Session Workshops Welcome to the Pleasure with O’actually Podcast. I loved connecting with Krista Kujat about the female mind and how to drop out of your head and into your body for a more intense sexual experience. * Do you ever find that it feels more inside your […]
Instagram is a lovely place. Literally. There are stunning images of national treasures, captures that showcase beauty in the mundane, and enough snapshots of adorable cats to keep you coo-ing in cuteness for well…ever. But even better Instagram is a place you can go for inspiration, learning to fall in love with yourself, and pleasure. […]
A woman’s body – yes, your body – is a pretty wonderful place. It’s angular. Soft. Curvaceous. It’s got folds and creases, divots and flecks of color. Yet despite rah-rah-rah-ing ourselves, there seems to be a constant underbelly of worry that something about our bodies just isn’t right. Case in point: Refinery 29’s article […]
Hi you! I’m so excited to announce the official launch of our Pleasure with O’actually podcast! I have been dreaming about THIS day …for months…okay, years! And…this first interview does NOT disappoint. We dive right into the good stuff in this very FIRST interview with the one and only Ashley Apple. Ashley is a gem and source […]
While thinking about how even better sex is just a few birthday candles away, we came across an article in Vogue where writer Karley Sciortino was pondering the same topic. And while the whole piece is worth a read (spoiler alert: she mentions a hot-sounding threesome in a very public place – brave and […]
More and more dots on the sexual spectrum are shedding their taboo factor and becoming, dare we say, mainstream. (Think BDSM’s rise to popularity, with a huge hat tip to Mr. Grey, of course). Another hawt talk topic these days is open relationships – but like whips and spankings, this isn’t a one-size-fits-all sort of […]
Is confusion or fear around BDSM preventing you from great sex? If our own Molly Rider’s foray in BDSM, the whole 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon, and a culture that is starting to embrace kink has YOU curious about experimenting with it during sex, then you’ve come to the right place! We understand, wanting to experiment […]
Spooning your favorite person doesn’t just feel good – it’s actually proven to be good for you. Whether taking on the role of big spoon is your preferred position, or you’re more of a little spoon (or you like to switch it up!), you’re getting some serious health benefits from this simple, zero-effort act. Oxytocin […]
It’s thought to be relationship rookie mistake to ask your newly minted significant other how many people they’ve slept with; it’s also considered poor form to tell the truth if you’re asked. One Team O’a member recalls, not fondly, the time she told one of her boyfriends how many people she’d slept with – and […]
There’s a lot to worry about as we age: losing flexibility (when was the last time we tried to touch our toes?), losing eye-sight, and becoming the one thing we said we never wanted to be: our parents (sigh, it’s inevitable). But there’s also a lot to look forward to: knowing ourselves (and wearing what […]
Honesty moment: Getting older is awesome. Seriously, it’s one of those things you hear murmurings of as a young adult, but until you’ve glided by 30, it’s hard to accurately describe the feelings associated with knowing yourself, embracing your sexual power, and generally kicking ass and taking names at life in a way you’d never […]
With Serena Williams stealing our hearts and continuing an impressive winning streak for American women athletes (huge shout out to the US Women’s Soccer Team for their World Cup victory!), it was disheartening to notice that the influx of congratulations throughout the media were peppered with commentary about her body. Lame. So, in […]
The nuances of sexting can be more puzzling than solving labyrinth. Even if you read last week’s primer on how-to sext, you might still be thinking, “Wait, so what exactly should I say?” And you’re not alone. Even the inimitable Amy Schumer has been struggling with that same question lately. Okay, honesty moment: as hilarious […]
Googling “How to sext” directs you to more articles than if you Googled “Things to do in California.” Seriously, every major – and minor – culture publication has a cheeky guide giving you the do’s and don’ts of putting your texting habit to use…in order to please your partner. And while we at O’a fully […]
Sex can sometimes feel like an out of body experience. Often neglected nerve endings light up as rough caresses and gentle taps send your senses into a wild blue yonder. Which is why it can seem like a total shock when your naturally pleasant and reserved mouth suddenly flows with extreme dirty talk falls at […]
Once upon a time, it was a known fact that that women were as eager, if not more eager, to have sex than men. This is not a joke. It’s totally serious, and totally amazing. Here’s the deal, according to Alyssa Goldstein on AlterNet: The Puritans believed that sexual desire was a normal and natural […]
Defining love – what it is, what it is not, and how to do it – is near impossible. However, when we came across Alex Myles’ 55 Rules for Love we couldn’t help but think “Whoa, she got a lot right about love.” But this list isn’t just about loving someone else: each of the […]
WHAT KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE SAYS ABOUT SOCIETY Discomfort rarely is the feeling described about the act of being inside a vagina. Yet discomfort is precisely what many women and men feel when discussing the vagina as an anatomical body part. Somewhere between one vagina and many, society stops wanting to have the pussy conversation. Collectively, […]
Growing up, we learn we’re all individuals: Meaning, we’re all unique snowflakes who desperately want to look and feel like everyone else. As we become adults, much of that desire to fit in melts away. However, when it comes to sex, we still tend to judge ourselves based on what others are doing, feeling, or […]
The vibrator is probably the world’s most popular adult toy, with millions selling annually across the world. They come in varying shapes, colors and sizes with one to suit most tastes. With a recent study claiming that almost one in four Americans possess a vibrator, we find it fascinating to understand the full story behind these […]
Friends, a little something different for you today. This week, our own O’a community member and contributor, Amanda Artemis tried something outside her comfort zone: going to an erotic reading circle. Here’s her account of that experience: Ethan and I arrived at the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco’s SOMA district eight minutes […]
It probably goes without saying, but we never skip a chance to say it: we love masturbation! We love being champions of you carving out the time to sit down alone (ahem – Pleasure Pledge – ahem), we love sharing information on how to bring on even more intense orgasms, and we love hearing from […]
Fortunately, talking about sex with your best friends is usually a cakewalk. (An open, wine-infused chat that is often served over a delicious dish and ends with you feeling even closer than before.) So, why is having a conversation about sex with your partner such a challenge? Probably, in part, because we all have an […]
We talk about pleasure here…a lot. And with so much sexual celebration in the air, it can sometimes start to feel like everyone visiting Planet O’actually is constantly having amazing sex, trying new positions, and busting out orgasms like fireworks on the Fourth of July. So much perceived pleasure can mess with your head. Occasionally, […]
Choice is a beautiful thing: we get to decide between chai lattes or green tea at the coffee shop, gin or prosecco at the bar, and Egyptian cotton or flannel for our bedsheets. But if you’re like some of us, an abundance of choices can put a damper on decision making. Which is part of […]
AND GET TURNED ON IN THE PROCESS! If you love reading stories that shiver your senses and send pleasurable pulses through your system (mmmm, the best!), it’s very possible you’ve entertained the idea of writing your own sexy piece. It’s also very possible you’ve thought to yourself immediately after pondering penning your own erotica, “But […]
Trying new things in bed (whether alone, with your partner, or hey even two!) is the epitome of exciting. You have no idea what’s going to happen next, and that kind of anticipation is hotter than a fire-walker’s feet. But here’s the secret sex-friendly folks forget to mention: Sexual experimentation has a decent chance […]
The talented and amazing, Nisha Moodley, gave everyone on the O’actually Team a thrill last week when she shone the spotlight on our fearless founder, Kit Murray Maloney, and all that is going on at O’actually! In Nisha’s newsletter, she spoke about how the truth will set you free and is totally worth the growing-pains. […]
“Nobody ever brings us up to be good in bed” Cindy Gallop, founder of the site Make Love Not Porn. Isn’t that the truth? We’re taught how to compromise, share, and be kind to strangers through practice and repetition. Yet sex is one of the few remaining subjects we’re expected to learn by instinct alone, […]
Science and sensuality hardly seem to go together like prosecco and brie (unless Bill Nye is involved) because really, who wants to think about the why of sex when you’re knee deep in exploring the how? So it is with clear minds and nerdy hearts that we compartmentalize the two and share five scientifically proven […]
Step back, science. Recently, Bill Nye did a short bit for Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s Star Talk on sex. It was pretty awesome to see popular science endorsing pleasure in a straightforward manner. No excuses, no apologies – just a scientific thumbs up to have sex because it feels good. With the Museum of Sex in […]
Amidst the constant cultural conversation about what is right and what is wrong with sex – not to mention the busyness of our day-to-day lives – it can be easy to forget this one simple statement: Your sexuality is intrinsically beautiful, if only because it is your own. And your sexuality is not only […]
AHHH!!!! You can’t imagine the excitement that bubbled up at O’a HQ when our very own Molly Rider announced that she had surprised herself by penning her first piece of erotic literature. That excitement only grew when we got our hands on the story and devoured the tantalizing piece!! We are so thrilled to share it with you […]
One of our favorite ways to lean back and let our mind wander is through listening. Fortunately, great podcasts such as Serial, Snap Judgement and State of the Reunion are practically raining down upon us. Even better, there are now podcasts for when we want to escape into our fantasy lands. Lucky, Jenny Kutner […]
We are thrilled that on today, International Masturbation Day, our fearless founder, Kit Murray Maloney, was featured in the Huffington Post, with her wise words on why an orgasm in the morning is a change for the better ! Check out a taste of the article below, and go to Huffington Post for the whole […]
During our weekly Broad City watch party, Ilana Glazer made our night with her apt articulation of not just how, but why mainstream porn just doesn’t resonate with most women. With Abbi Jacobson nodding along during a boisterous coffee-shop conversation, Ilana explains: I don’t watch anything but solo porn because regular porn is like… “Shut […]
Okay, so who else out there is a fan of the new Starz series, Outlander (which is based on the number one best selling book by Diana Gabaldon)? We, at O’actually, are LOVING that Starz is willing to show Gabaldon’s intense sex scenes on the screen, particularly because she focuses so much on female pleasure. […]
(And We Love Her For It) When we heard Rashida Jones say, “Women should feel pleasure and have sex and feel good about it,” we didn’t just want to stand up and cheer – we actually threw our hands in the air and let out a celebratory squeal. Rashida Jones, actress, comedic genius, comic book […]
It’s no secret Margaret Cho is a champion for women’s pleasure. When asked what her sex life was like recently, she responded, “Amazing amazing amazing.” Her openness with female sexuality and love of laughter made her a great subject for one of our favorite projects ever: Hysterical Literature. Clayton Cubitt’s project reveals the real, surprising, […]
Laying out on a warm blanket, halfway between wanting to make out and wanting to just cuddle, your partner asks, What’s something you’ve always wanted to do with another person? You know they’re not talking about sharing one milkshake with two straws, or even going to Bali on a romantic adventure. The implied but missing […]
Bored of outdated tricks that remind you of a class from Junior High? Us too. Rolling a condom on a banana and having a frank conversation about “being ready” are standard operating procedures in the world of sex ed. But it seems like the way we are schooled (and even get schooled) about sex misses one […]
Sometimes, sex feels like a serious business because of how much pressure we put on it. And it’s not just the act itself that gets a little diluted with anxious-excited feelings, but everything surrounding it, too. How we look without clothes on (glowingly gorgeous! We promise!), what music might be helping us lose ourselves in […]
Being a hostess comes naturally to us here at Team O’a – probably at least in part because we are women. We don’t just mean “hostess” in the “let me get you a drink because I invited you to this party” way (though some of us can make a killer Manhattan). We also instinctively want […]
It’s easy to get defensive when we hear the adage, Routines actually reflect your priorities. After all, we’re busy. Super busy. Mega busy. So routines help us accomplish tasks that feel mandatory. That’s just the way it is. Right? I’ve totally been there. But routines can get in the way of something that can be […]
Dear O’actually community, Historically, this is an important week for O’actually and me. On a Friday afternoon, precisely three years ago I resigned from my stable job to start what is now O’actually (at the time, it didn’t even have a name!) Below is the story, lessons learned, and how they relate to your […]
Alone, you can let your mind wander anywhere, to any saucy scenario you choose. But have you ever had a fantasy that you would be ashamed to say out loud, even to your most non-judgmental friend? Adultery is wrong, rape is despicable, and sexual slavery is beyond utterly loathsome – these are all issues that […]
A mentor once told me, “What you focus on is what you create.” Sayings like this often take time – months or even years – to stick and ring true. However, this particular phase quickly landed with me and catapulted my life from one stage to the next. Such simplicity, such sense, and an explosion […]
The “P” word doesn’t come up too often around our office. Not because O’actually doesn’t have some porny elements, but because the stigma of the word distracts from our key principle: pleasure. O’a is here to prioritize your sexual pleasure for pleasure’s sake, and the whole porn thing well…meddles with that. So, in the name […]