Trying new things in bed (whether alone, with your partner, or hey even two!) is the epitome of exciting. You have no idea what’s going to happen next, and that kind of anticipation is hotter than a fire-walker’s feet.
But here’s the secret sex-friendly folks forget to mention:
Sexual experimentation has a decent chance of not going as planned.
Experimenting with a new position, new toy, or new party isn’t just exciting…It can also be awkward. And embarrassing. Like, crawl under the bed because hanging out with dust bunnies sounds sexier than continuing on awkward and embarrassing.
This is due to the fact that you have an expectation of how something will go, and then reality throws not just one monkey wrench, but a whole barrel of monkey wrenches into the picture. You might whip out a new sex toy and realize it’s waaaaay too complicated to operate without having read the instruction manual first. You might have the best of intentions to get your partner all riled up with dirty talk and then come up empty. Or, you may realize that all those yoga classes notwithstanding, you aren’t AS flexible as you need to be for “that thing.” And then you’re in the precarious position of a) looking a little foolish and b) keeping the moment sexy, which often leads to c) deer-in-the-headlight panic.
So, how do you forge forward when your sexy exploration goes awry?
We’re huge fans of letting yourself giggle.
Sometimes sex is serious – but often, sex is fun. Laughing at a laughably awkward situation will lighten the mood (as you likely switch to something tried and true). Plus, laughter has the added bonus of leaving you and your partner willing to try something new again. One O’a team member was enjoying real sex on the beach, on a chaise longue… The vigorous fun sunk the chaise down in the sand so deeply that it required further rigor, post coital, to dig it out. Turns out the laughter that ensued might have been the most vigorous part of the whole experience.
But there’s more to trying new things than finding yourself in a giggly situation.
Because, even if at first you don’t succeed… try and try again!
In fact, we can’t think of a sex act that doesn’t take practice. Trying again is the best way to get better at anything, even sex. You don’t step out of the stables a pro at anything, from playing the violin to learning the two-step. Being willing to not be great at something new in bed means eventually, you’ll be phenomenal at it (or have fun trying).
However, the truth is, you’re not going to loooooove everything you try.
And that is totally okay. You try new things so you can like new things – but that doesn’t mean you’re going to fall head over feet for them. It’s like sampling new foods – not all of them are hits, but it’s fun to explore. There’s no need to force yourself to like something. Rather than power through something that doesn’t feel right to you and your partner feel free to move on to something tried and true.
Happy pleasure seeking!