Legacy Blog Posts

Orgasm as Your Life Force

The theme of the Pleasure Pledge is an exploration of “What Does Your Orgasm Mean to You.” The answers are STUNNING. In today’s Pleasure Pledge Video, Anita Kopacz sums up what so many of us also feel. She states “My Orgasm is my Life Force.”

I first connected with Anita – a true powerhouse of a human – on the podcast. In this video, I share with her for the first time what that interview meant to me. Without knowing it, Anita’s strength kicked off a healing journey for myself that I had resisted for 15 years. (Yes, there are tears as I express my deepest gratitude to her for this.)

Watch and listen – you’ll also feel Anita’s contagious courage, compassion and love.

BONUS: Anita shares an exercise that can take only a few seconds and will reboot your whole system (even my puppy felt and loved it!)

More about Anita:

Anita Kopacz is Editor-in-Chief of Heart and Soul Magazine, author of Finding Your Way and her monthly newsletter, Not Your Mama’s Guru. Anita graduated with honors from UC Berkeley’s Interdisciplinary Studies Department, where she studied film and drama with a focus on the African Diaspora. She then earned a Masters in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica. For over 20 years,  Anita has applied her knowledge and talents across many endeavors including writing, acting, and modeling (her beauty is palpable).

I’m also totally in love with her Instagram: @AnitaKopacz.

LISTEN ~ WATCH ~ SHARE!

Come on over to the Private Facebook Group and share what comes up or ask follow-up questions too!

Lots of Orgasmic Love,

The odd truth is, receiving pleasure can actually be rather difficult. After all, if prioritizing pleasure was easy peasy then we wouldn’t have to remind ourselves of its importance over and over again.

So it’s truth time. Do you REALLY prioritize your pleasure?

Is it a matter of time? Forgetfullness? Other people impacting your schedule? Do you catch yourself wondering if it’s really all that important?
What aren’t you yet ready to let go of in order to truly make yourself and your pleasure come first?

In the past I’ve encouraged you to find your pleasure triggers. Today I am asking you to examine your #pleasureblocks.

Most pleasure blocks have to do with not permitting ourselves to truly believe that we come first. Let me be clear, I don’t mean this in a selfish “I get to cut the line because ‘I come first’!” way. I lived in London for far too many years to have anything but respect for standing patiently in the queue. Rather I am referring to your connection to the deep empowered truth: you and you alone are responsible for your pleasure and it’s up to you to put it first.

If you don’t put yourself first in this way, then there will never be enough time and there will always be something else to do for someone else. Putting yourself first and prioritizing your pleasure will nourish you, fill you up with aliveness and joy, and better allow you to do, create, and support. It’s actually selfish not to…

That said, and it’s always appreciated to get some extra permission, right? So here you go:

Give yourself permission to prioritize your pleasure. Name and release your biggest pleasure blocker.

Prioritizing your pleasure,
Kitter xx

Hey babe,

Take these two super simple steps TODAY and enjoy a more ORGASMIC life tomorrow:

• Remove ALL your technology from the bedroom. Do so right now. And take the chargers with you! (Non negotiables include all phones, tablets and laptops. I can be slightly more flexible when it comes to TV’s because often a partner will have quite an attachment there. But regardless of if you share your room, I strongly encourage you to take it ALL out.) When you’re done with this step, only lamps should be hooked up to a socket.

• Buy an alarm clock. I’ll make it super simple – click here and give yourself a priceless gift for $12. It will be on your bedside table in time to kick-off your workweek. Do it now. (Of course any alarm clock is great and a huge step forward for your orgasmic healthcare. I like this one because it doesn’t give off any light and there is no tick-tocking to disturb my slumber.) Seriously, it’s the cost of a movie ticket and I promise you it will be worth every penny.

These steps work together not separately. And no, airplane mode does not count.
Here’s why:
Morning and evening routines are hard enough to stick to. Why make the temptation to skip a calm, relaxed, and even orgasmic time in the bedroom? If your phone is on your bedside table – serving as an alarm clock or not – you’ll inevitably be sucked into texts, email and social media first thing.

I’ve been there. I’ve had far too many mornings that started with a seemingly innocent tap of the iPhone snooze button. Then bam! Twenty minutes later – time I could have more productively spent meditating or Pleasure21ing – I realize I’m still in bed. I haven’t yet peed let alone done all the other things that set me up for my best days! So it’s time. Time to take back your evenings, your mornings, and YOUR BEDROOM! (Did I mention this alarm clock is just $12?!:)

Find a spot anywhere else in your place – so long as it is on the other side of your bedroom door. Plug that charger in and pretend like it is stuck there with crazy glue. Same thing goes for tablets and laptops. I have a little pouf I bought at a NYC flea market that I rest my laptop on at night (otherwise I am WAY to tempted to fall asleep in bed watching Hulu… and then it’s just sitting their taunting me to email in the morning.)

Don’t even think about it, just do it. For the next 20 days consider your bedroom a tech free zone. NO MATTER WHAT.

I fought this over and over again. Yet, it’s made an epic difference.

Truth, did you read this blog post in bed?

Orgasmically yours,
Kitter xx

Hey love!

I am a big believer that pleasure begets pleasure. It’s one of the seven reasons I encourage you to adopt an orgasm into your morning routine. Filling up your pleasure tank* invites more and more space for you and others to continue adding more and more pleasure to it. For instance, I am a thousand times more likely to feel in the mood or receptive to another’s desire if I’ve already done my job of getting myself all delighted up in pleasure. So, when my inner mean girl asks me why I need to spend the time and money on things like candles, organic food, fancy schmansy lotions, or an occasional house cleaner, I have to remind myself that the answer is simple but all important: those things please me.

My easiest pleasure trigger is having cut flowers – everywhere. If flowers are all over the house, I fall in love with my home more and it makes me more likely to keep everything super tidy. If my space is both beautified and organized, I’m able to be relaxed and calm. If I’m relaxed and calm… all of a sudden there is plenty of time for orgasms! And the benefits of an orgasm are endless…

Pleasure triggers are different for everyone, but we all have them. They can be much more sexually explicit than many of mine – leather, hand cuffs, and spikes – oh my! Don’t hold back, EVERYTHING that ignites your pleasure is a win! So take a moment and think. What’s something you can do or get right now (or first thing on your Saturday morning!) that will evoke a small sense of and trigger pleasure begetting pleasure? Got one? Good. Now go on… do it, get it, share.

*There is actually no such thing as a filled up pleasure tank. The more you put into it the more the container expands. My home could be covered in hundreds of flowers, and yet there is always room for another vase. The truth is there is no such thing as too much genuine pleasure. So what’s one thing – just pick the first that comes to mind – that gets the pleasure spiral rolling for you?

Orgasmically yours,
Kitter xx

What is this Pleasure21 thing all about?
At the root of Pleasure21, is prioritizing your time and energy for DAILY orgasms (wahoo!). It’s three short weeks to deepen into the experience of putting yourself, your body, your pleasure, and your orgasms FIRST. Every day.

(We run this program throughout the year, so sign up to keep in touch and be sent an invite for our next Pleasure21!)

Wondering, “Why should I bother?”
Well, Pleasure21 is actually about so much more than making your toes curl. It’s about saying to yourself and therefore to the world, that you matter, your body matters and your orgasms matter. Because they do! Our core belief as a company is that a celebration of genuine female orgasms will help heal and better the world.
Congratulations and thank you for being a critical part of that healing!

Curious about who we are?
Come join me and the O’actually ladies over in the private Facebook group that we’ve set up just for you. This is the safe, fun, and playful place to talk about all things sex. It’ll be my home base for the next three weeks and I can’t wait to say hello and support you throughout your Pleasure21 journey.

Also… I’m Kit! I grew up in Boston, spent my 20s and early 30s in London and NYC and I recently moved to Denver, CO. The dance between big cities and mountains is one I could not live without. I got my masters in Gender and Social Policy and then promptly went to work for a soft drinks company (before finally starting my dream company around women’s sexual pleasure.) I’m on a mission to reduce and heal trauma through genuine, delightful, bed breaking female orgasms. I drive blue Vespas when in London/NYC and red trucks in CO. Regardless of the vehicle of choice, I’m likely found driving it in heals. Since I was a little one, I struggled to wrap my head around taboo – I could see and sense the harm done by hiding things that everyone is doing or experiencing under a veil of silence. In that spirit, I started O’actually to release the taboo around women’s self pleasure and orgasms. Oh, and I really like sex and the pleasure my female body yields me – no surprise there!

You
I suspect we are remarkably alike. Even if we don’ share a single interest or specific experience. I’m guessing you too are a complex woman full of apparent contradictions. That you are a curious soul looking for ways to make the most of this life and leave a potent impact in your wake. I’m simply here to guide you through using your sexual pleasure as a compass to make sure that you are living as your most vibrant self.

I can’t wait to meet you! Come say hi here!

More than sex
I take a holistic view of sex, sexuality and pleasure. Did you know that your cycle affects your sex drive and the type of sex you’re likely to desire on a given day or night? Can you name the five different types of female orgasm? Have you experienced them all?! Are you aware that your relationship to money is deeply tied to your sexuality? We’ll be exploring all this and so much more…

If Pleasure21 isn’t currently running, sign up here to be kept informed about the next time we run the program. In the meantime, come hang with us and talk pleasure and orgasms in the PRIVATE Facebook Group!