Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt embarrassed, squeamish, or just plain puzzled by lube.
There’s a good reason many of us have some apprehension about lubrication. Though it’s totally popular to say “Lube is great and you should use it!” there’s no user-manual involved, no norms established, and certainly lube is never featured in romantic comedies. In fact, the way we learn about lube is either through an introduction from an in-the-know partner, or from a deep discussion with our girlfriends (preferably over a mimosa brunch!).
So get your toast buttered and jammed, your eggs cooked to your version of perfection, and a side of blueberries ready to go, because today is the unofficial Lube Information and Celebration Day here at O’actually!
First, a primer in why lube rocks:
Lube increases pleasure.
Although we just want to mic drop right there, we’ll go a little deeper.
You know no matter how hydrated you are, you can still give yourself an abrasion by pinching your own arm? It has to do with a low level of moisture and friction coming together for a period of time. And thus, like a squeaky hinge, fingers and genitals are skin perform their best when helped by a little grease.
…the practical purpose of lubricant during sex is that it decreases discomfort and chance of injury. When dry body surfaces are rubbed together, the skin can break — and, broken skin increases the risk of sexually transmitted infections. Lube can help prevent that breakage (though it’s definitely not a substitute for a condom). Plus, she says, “It increases the sensation of pleasure, and makes penetration or external stimulation much easier.”
Okay, onto the good stuff…like how to use lube and not feel ridiculous:
Spoiler alert: like trying anything new in bed, you’re probably going to feel a little bumbly when you first use lube.
Take it from one member of Team O’a who recently had her lube-cherry popped: laughter is key! “Actually, perhaps the most important thing I did was tell my partner it was my first time with lube. He was shocked, but proceeded to guide me through how much to use (apparently it’s hard to use too much) – and by the amount of giggling involved, I’d say a lot of fun was had.”
What to expect when you’re lubing.
Viscous to the touch, lube is actually like mega-slippery body wash. You should think about your lube selection somewhat carefully – we go for ones that don’t leave residue, don’t leave your fingers super sticky and won’t stain. You should also consider the differences between water based and silicone-based lubes. Water-based lubes are safe to use with all toys and contraceptive measures like condoms, diaphragms and the like. Silicone-based lubes can have reactions with silicone sex toys, so you might want to avoid that silicone-on-silicone action if your favorite toys are made from silicone. However, silicone-based lubes last longer than water-based ones and are are totally fine to use with latex condoms and sex toys not made of silicone. .
Excellent places to put lube include all areas of the penis and vulva (though we’re sure you can find other body parts that might be nice).
Is using lube cheating?
Absolutely not. So much goes into female arousal – like how you’re feeling that day, how you feel about your partner, hormone levels. Heck, sometimes it seems like even if Mercury is in retrograde is at play). Lube isn’t just because a woman isn’t “wet.” Remember that dry skin scenario mentioned above? It takes two pieces of dry skin to create that.
You’re ready to dive in – but when should you?
There’s no wrong time to use lube, but there are a few times we highly recommend it:
In order to be comfortable.
There are different sizes of anatomy that feel good to each person. If your partner is a tad bigger (but not painfully so) lube can help during sex – though we suggest prolonged foreplay for this, too.
In order to heighten your pleasure.
The reason people love lube is it tends to increase sensitivity and makes sex feel even more fantastic. Each place you put a dollop (anywhere from the size of the head of a dime or more) tends to get a little more slippery.
In order to get down with anal.
Whether this is a go-to on your sexual menu or something you’re dabbling in, if we could only give you one piece of advice it would be use lube. Lots and lots of lube…. and then some more lube.
Uberlube: it’s our favorite!
There are lots of lubes out there, and while Team O’a doesn’t agree on everything sex related, we have come to a consensus on our favorite lubrication: Uberlube. (Even their website homepage is hot!) Uberlube is silicone-based however, so if your particular needs require a water based lubricant (i.e. you have other sex enhancers made of silicone – check out KY Ultra or Liquid Silk.
For our final thought on the topic of lube, it’s possible JoEllen Notte said it best: “Sex without lube is like a Slip n’ Slide without water.”
Ladies, if you have lube experiences to share, or just want to talk lube shop, come chat us up on Facebook! And of course, you’re always to donate to our Indiegogo campaign if you’re not feeling chatty.