Sex can sometimes feel like an out of body experience.
Often neglected nerve endings light up as rough caresses and gentle taps send your senses into a wild blue yonder.
Which is why it can seem like a total shock when your naturally pleasant and reserved mouth suddenly flows with extreme dirty talk falls at the most intimate moments.
Talking dirty isn’t everyone’s favorite way to get off, but it’s certainly a pervasive (though rarely-discussed) part of many people’s sexual repertoire.
Whether you body twitches at the thought of “Cum for me” being whispered in your ear or not, you’ve probably wondered what the attraction of whispering sweet, or not so sweet, everything’s is.
Thank gosh for science.
According to Gigi Engle in The Science of Dirty Talk: Why We’re So F*cking Nasty in Bed, there are a few reasons – like the fact that talking dirty allows us to act out fantasies we might never want to actually try:
Who we are in the bedroom is not necessarily who we are in life. It’s an opportunity to explore certain dark desires and try things we normally would be too skittish to maneuver.
Talking dirty to your partner doesn’t mean you want to degrade or to think less of him or her.
By calling your girlfriend a “little whore,” you’re not actually saying your girlfriend is a whore or you think she is a whore, you’re simply playing into a fantasy — a change of pace and social placement.
We at O’actually HQ celebrate any sexual expression that allows you to fully inhabit all parts of yourself – the ones that you occasionally feel ashamed about (but we recommend you stop that!) and the tried and true sensations you know you love. Which is to say, we are all for dirty talk if that turns you on.
O’a team members have also discussed how a little dirty talk helps put them in a completely different mindset, a break from all the everyday distractions that can sometimes make it hard to get in the mood.
For the self-admitted control freak, being addressed as a “dirty slut” by a trusted partner can really jolt one out of thinking of groceries or work stress, and focus on the hotness that is happening right then and there.
For the calm and more reserved, being told to, “Tell me you want me to fuck you. Say it. Tell me to fuck you.” by her partner, brings out her wild side and focuses her to the moment.
But that’s us.
What do you think?
Are you down for a little naughty conversation, or do you prefer any loquacious loving to be sweet? Perhaps you’re all for silence?