I can usually talk about the importance of “women’s sexual pleasure” and get nods and high-fives all day long. But as soon as I encourage folks to prioritize their orgasms, BAM – major resistance. People become all to quick to say, “You know… it’s not *all about* orgasm!”
Never mind that I would never say sex or sexuality is *all about* any one thing…. Nope, never said it. Never will. I also certainly never said that sex and sexuality is all about orgasms.
So what’s behind this need for people to feel they have to remind me that sex is about more than orgasm?
Well, our society is label OBSESSED.
I don’t just mean the tags in your clothes. I mean our desire to put everything into its own bucket – safely separated and removed from nuance and intersectionality.
In a false effort to understand life’s complexities, we strip away our multifaceted nature and look for tidy narrow boxes. But in doing so, we block ourselves from the beauty within the complex.
Sex, sexuality, pleasure, sensuality, orgasms – we somehow over and over again want to separate them from each other. But they only make sense on their own, when they are also understood in their inevitable overlay.
Can you see that sometimes sex is all about orgasms, while also seeing that sometimes sex, even the most beautiful and intimate sex, has nothing to do with them? Sometimes the sensual is the sexual and sometimes the sensual is completely void of the sexual.
And so it goes… it’s in our hands to play, to decide which intersections we are called to dance within in the moment.
Pleasure, sex, sexuality, orgasms, and sensuality are all wondrously multifaceted, even when we experience them in isolation.
Pro orgasms doesn’t mean anti anything that isn’t orgasmic. Lets give some extra lovin to your nuanced – ever evolving – desires!
My love to you – you multifaceted orgasmic one!