Call it what you will – hook-up culture, the FWB fad, or sexual liberation – but regardless, sex before marriage has perched on the media’s mind for better part of the 21st century. The topic often took flight in the form of lengthy criticism from a “grown-up” perspective, glib rebuttals from the “young adult” side, and sometimes even, as was the case with Jordana Narin’s No Labels, No Drama, Right? an insightful blending of the two.
A few months ago, the Archives of Sexual Behavior published a study that gave everyone in the conversation something to talk about: it found that Millennials actually had fewer sexual partners than their Boomer parents (though everyone was reported to be having more than the Greatest Generation). Salon and Refinery 29 went deeper into the study, sharing stats and the like, and as we read the wrap-ups, admittedly, we found ourselves at O’a HQ starting to think…who cares?
Okay, we get, from a sociological standpoint, why this matters. Trends are interesting, they tell us about society, and they give us actionable data about what our culture might want or need in terms of public health information. And we’re stoked that more people are supportive of diverse, healthy, sex lives that fulfill them.
But all this focus on numbers of partners – and numbers in general – rather than if the sex is good….well, we’re not convinced that the numbers matter are much as your personal feelings about and during sex.
We think pleasure is the most important part of your sex life.
And awesomely, we’re not alone. Dr. Shirley Zussman has been a sex therapist since 1970 – she turned 100 years old last year and is still practicing!
One of our favorite lines: Sexual pleasure is only one part of what men and women want from each other – they want intimacy, they want closeness, they want understanding, they want comfort, they want fun…and they want someone who really cares about them beyond going to bed with them.
Dr. Zussman’s entire 3 minute video is a beautiful and thoughtful look at the last 50 years of sex therapy, and she singlehandedly sings the O’a song of needing to prioritize your own pleasure, and accept that your own pleasure matters – and we can’t recommend watching this piece enough.
If you’re nodding along to this video, or this blog, join our campaign to promote women’s sexual pleasure in adult films.