“Nobody ever brings us up to be good in bed”
Cindy Gallop, founder of the site Make Love Not Porn.
Isn’t that the truth? We’re taught how to compromise, share, and be kind to strangers through practice and repetition. Yet sex is one of the few remaining subjects we’re expected to learn by instinct alone, with the assumption that we should be intrinsically good at it.
It’s no wonder young men and women (ourselves included when were younger!) turn to the easiest available “how-to” videos available for instruction: porn. But Cindy Gallop and Al Vernacchio want to start the conversation that changes that.
Each has presented at TED in the past few years, and recently got together to talk about why we shouldn’t let Hollywood and the male-generating porn industry be educators in the sex department.
One of our favorite comments during the discussion came from Cindy:
“The language of porn is male generated. The person who coined the term ‘Finger-blasting’ didn’t have a vagina. If you have a vagina and hear the term ‘finger-blasting’ you want to cross your legs.”
Cum shots, finger-blasting… the current lexicon of pornography doesn’t exactly get us in the mood. We are convinced that many women have decided that they just aren’t into “porn” because the whole experience has been created by men for men in a way that doesn’t take women’s preferences, natural inclinations or sexual experiences into account. (Enter O’actually!).
In any case, you’re in for a six minute treat when you watch this conversation: