How Can We Remind You of Truth?

It’s an undeniably painful time – where men in power are both being outed for abusing women and being defended for doing so. 

So, I ask you,

Is there something you need to hear to be reminded of your Truth?

For me, when Betsy DeVos denied the prevalence of rape on our college campuses I lost my shit. Some very wise soul-sisters lovingly interrupted my pain by asking , “How can we support you? What do you need to hear?”

My answer to them surprised me. Rage quickly turned to deep sadness and through cascading tears I mustered, “I need to hear it wasn’t my fault.” And so they repeated, over and over again, until my breath came back into fullness, “Kit, love, it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t your fault.”

Because that is how insidious victim blaming is in our culture.

Victim blaming goes so deep into the crevices of our systems that we alone can’t logically think ourselves out of it.

There was a part of me that day, a frightened part of me buried in a microscopic cave, that believed DeVos. The pain of that was overwhelming and spiraling me into a defensive yet paralyzed place.
Thankfully, my sisters knew… They knew I was shaming that part of me and thus giving it the very power I so desperately didn’t want it to have.

These women were also there to love all of me, including my shadow of self blame. In so doing, they connected me back to Truth. With them, I found access to remind myself and say with them, “Kit, love, it wasn’t your fault.”